Emotional intelligence (EI) is about the ‘intelligent use of our emotions’ or ‘thinking about our feelings to guide our behaviour’. This applies to both ourselves and our relationships. For example, an individual who is feeling anxious about a presentation could practice a breathing exercise to promote relaxation. Or a presenter who notices that others are looking bored during a presentation could respond by increasing the engagement level with the audience.
Being aware of our feelings and the feelings of others is essential because it helps us to manage ourselves and our relationships more effectively. Consider the analogy of driving a car: A driver learns how to optimise a vehicle’s performance by:
- Keeping it well maintained (our health and well-being)
- Listening to the engine (our body and feelings)
- Handling it skilfully (our habits and behaviour)
- Navigating the traffic and roads (our awareness of others and managing interactions with them)
In essence, emotional intelligence is about becoming skilful and effective at managing ourselves and our relationships.