Written by Amy Lahti, Senior Consultant, Development Solutions
The beginning of a new coaching relationship is always an exciting time for me. Moving beyond the chemistry meeting, it’s great to get to know someone on a deeper level – finding out their goals, motivations and ideas, and creating an agreement about how coaching sessions will proceed.
Sometimes I work with individuals who are completely new to the coaching process and may have some anxiety about engaging in coaching. They know that for coaching to be effective they will have to disclose personal information and get vulnerable about where they’re at in their career and where they’d like to go. (Let’s be honest – that can be anxiety-producing for anyone!)
Laying the foundation for an effective coaching relationship
To build an effective coaching relationship with a new coachee, I use these three basic principles:
1. Trust and safety are paramount
The core of any relationship – not just between coaches and coachees – is trust and safety. Before anyone can feel comfortable opening up about their life, their job, their frustrating manager (really anything) – they must feel that their confidentiality will be respected, and that their coach is not there to judge, but to aid reflection and growth.
A big part of facilitating trust and safety within your coaching relationships is using best practices around contracting with the coachee from the very outset of the relationship. When the coachee knows what to expect from their coach – what is possible, reasonable, and achievable – they can feel confident that they will receive the support they need, which helps them feel safe in the relationship.
Getting the contract correct may take time and some back-and-forth negotiation, but taking shortcuts through this process (which can be tempting, to get into the critical work of coaching) may result in misunderstandings that can erode trust and safety. Contracting is critical, so take the time to make sure there’s alignment and that the coachee feels confident about how things will progress moving forward.
2. Meet the client where they are
As coaches, we want to help our clients meet their goals. But it’s important to recognise that during a coaching relationship, those goals may shift. Within the journey of an effective coaching relationship, it’s completely normal for a coachee’s priorities, stressors, and circumstances to change.
One of my coachees started their coaching journey with the goal of getting promoted – but then started going through a divorce. Our focus had to shift from getting promoted to helping them manage a healthy work-life balance due to the stresses of divorce and child custody issues alongside a demanding job.
Another client started coaching thinking they wanted support to survive in a high-pressure, competitive work environment. However, our focus switched shortly in our coaching relationship as they decided that what they really wanted was a way out of their current situation. So, we began to focus our sessions on changing roles within their organisation.
These shifts were crucial to delivering effective coaching to these coachees and required revisiting the original goals we had set. Since we had done the necessary work in the contracting process, we were able to recalibrate and focus our sessions on the new priorities without any disruption.
Flexibility and the ability to pivot help us to be effective, responsive coaches. This also builds trust and safety while simultaneously helping coachees feel that the coach is on their side working for their success – which feeds into our last principle…
3. Champion the client
In coaching relationships, it’s critical that we celebrate our clients’ successes and achievements – no matter how small. Coachees rely on us for our objective perspectives, for the accountability we can provide as they are progressing toward goals, and for the opportunities we can provide to them for structured reflection. Effective coaching gives busy professionals the time and space to think about what THEY want from their job or career (which may be different than what they’ve been told to want).
Any time a client has a breakthrough, completes a task that is meaningful to them, achieves a goal, or experiences good fortune, it’s important for coaches to take time to celebrate that. Often, I hear from coachees that coaching is the only time they hear positive feedback – that no one takes time to talk to them about what is going well for them, instead only giving constructive/critical feedback.
Reinforcement and championing enable performance. When we help people focus on strengths – identify what they do well and what they do want, rather than what they don’t want – coaches can help people focus on their innate and acquired strengths, rather than expending all their mental energy on addressing deficiencies.
What championing can look like in a coaching relationship
Believe in their potential: Coaches can hold – and communicate – a strong, unwavering belief in the coachee’s ability to grow and succeed, even when a coachee doubts themself. Many coachees have told me that what they most appreciate about our coaching relationship is the neutral space to explore aspirations and ideas they may not feel comfortable talking about (at least not yet) with others.
Encourage stretch growth: As coaches, we can encourage a coachee to pursue leadership roles, stretch projects, or professional development opportunities. Part of what I love about coaching is that I can provide objective reflection space for coachees contemplating big changes – but also provide encouragement and support to take a step they might not have seriously considered otherwise.
Celebrate achievements – even the ‘small stuff’: Recognising both small and big milestones boosts confidence and momentum in coachees. Coaches can help coachees pause and acknowledge progress they might have otherwise overlooked. Celebrating even small wins can build capacity and enthusiasm, which in turn encourages growth.
The lasting effects of effective coaching
Building trust, meeting coachees where they are, and championing their growth are the cornerstones of an effective coaching relationship. When we take the time to create a foundation of safety, adapt to our clients’ evolving needs, and actively celebrate their wins and progress, we as coaches can empower our coachees to move toward their goals with confidence and clarity. At its best, effective coaching is a partnership rooted in belief, encouragement, and responsiveness – and by honouring these principles, we create the conditions for meaningful, lasting transformation.
About the author: Amy Lahti is a senior organisational development consultant at Talogy. Amy is passionate about effective organisational and talent development, and enjoys leading activities and programmes that can truly help organisations elevate to a higher level of efficiency, innovation, and success. She has deep experience in talent assessment and succession planning, coaching for all levels of leaders, organisational diagnosis, performance management, and training and event facilitation.
